Pumpkin Picking and Kid Creeping At The Faux Waimanalo Country Farms Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkins are to Halloween as rainbow poopies are to unicorns. Being that it was Halloween, the Animal Heads Super Team had to pay a visit to a legitimate pumpkin patch. The Waimanalo Country Farms Pumpkin Patch would be our patch of choice. Oh how disappointed we all were. Why? Read on animal head lovers!

Let the faux pumpkin picking begin! Photo by Squirrel.

Let the faux pumpkin picking begin! Photo by Squirrel.

Oh hai, Panda! Photo by Squirrel.

Oh hai, Panda! Photo by Squirrel.

The disappointment was so intense, that poor panda went into cardiac arrest. He nearly dropped dead. Squirrel resuscitated him, but it was a close call. Soon after, kids began to surround the Animal Heads Super Team. We let them snap a few a few photos, but then we kicked them to the proverbial curb. Unicorn was so disappointed that he decided to drop a rainbow deuce in the nearby port-a-potty. He almost ever does that. He’s an exhibitionist when it comes to that kind of stuff. Plus, his rainbow poop smells a lot like burnt smores, very pleasing to the senses.

Yeah, let's toss around these California pumpkins! Photo by Squirrel.

Yeah, let’s toss around these California pumpkins! Photo by Squirrel.

And then let's creep on little kids! Photo by Squirrel.

And then let’s creep on little kids! Photo by Squirrel.

You might be wondering why the Waimanalo Pumpkin Patch was so disappointing. Well,  based on our observations, it seemed that the bright orange pumpkins were strategically placed in the dirt by human hands. While walking to the patch, we also noticed BULK PUMPKINS in large boxes. Had they ordered bulk pumpkins from Costco and placed them in the dirt to mimic a proper pumpkin patch? BULLOCKS! It turns out that I am not the only one that noticed this. Some Yelper’s (see below) have noticed this too and one even suggests that the pumpkins were shipped to Hawaii from California! WTF. Unicorn suggests that you go to the Aloun Farms pumpkin patch instead.

Unicorn was starving at this point. He needed something magical in his system. And so the Animal Heads Super Team fled the faux Waimanalo Pumpkin Patch for greener pastures.

Explorers: Giraffe, Panda, Squirrel, and Unicorn.

Directions to the Waimanalo Country Farms Pumpkin Patch: Located at Waimanalo Country Farms, 41-225 Lupe St., Waimanalo, HI. 96795. Take Kalanianaole Highway toward Waimanalo. Once in Waimanalo, you will see street signs that will lead you directly to the patch.

Dropping dead with disappointment. Photo by Unicorn.

Dropping dead with disappointment. Photo by Unicorn.

Even Unicorns have to check their iPhones. Photo by Squirrel.

Even Unicorns have to check their iPhones. Photo by Squirrel.

Squirrels need grub too! Photo by Squirrel.

Squirrels need grub too! Photo by Squirrel.

Rainbow poopie time! Photo by Squirrel.

Rainbow poopie time! Photo by Squirrel.

I've got my eyes and horn on your. Photo by Squirrel.

I’ve got my eyes and horn on your. Photo by Squirrel.

Some Yelp reviews to back up our claim of disappointment:

"So the pumpkins here are not grown on this farm.  I only come to this one to support a local grower only to find out they are pumpkins grown in California."

“So the pumpkins here are not grown on this farm. I only come to this one to support a local grower only to find out they are pumpkins grown in California.”

"Not a real pumpkin patch.  They bring the pumpkins in and just lay them on the ground."

“Not a real pumpkin patch. They bring the pumpkins in and just lay them on the ground.”

About Coty

Founder of Exploration: Hawaii. Adventure, Minimalism, Vinyl, Typography, and Coffee + Matcha. A single space after a period, please.